Stopping points ~

Ugh I really have been working, but nothing that I can really show right now. So here's an old sketch I managed to squeeze in at some point last week!
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I wanted to talk about some things going on lately and a point that I thought about with a friend the other day. In short, I feel like my whole life I've been standing in the middle of an empty street with my arms out wide hoping for some meaning or a little paper airplane with a secret note telling me which direction to go to fall onto my lap. Why did this happen and why is it like this, those types of things, but there's been an underlying theme to it all, like a synthetic happiness (not the emo kind, the kind where something really shitty happens and you try to find the good points) that ya' know, somehow keeps "everything" afloat.
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For class we had to answer a bunch of "why" questions and that type of thing is typical of this instructor, which I believe is very very important. That was at the beginning of the semester. At that point I was saying, I do art for me, because I've done it all my life, the videogames, the coooooolness of making stuff up. While all that does play into the reasons why, it is soooo linear. I thought it defined me - you know, if you're an artist, at highschool or whatever people dubbed you the artist and what not. "Hey you know how to draw! I can't even draw a stick-figure!" That kind of stuff, lol.. did it almost everyday, it was fun, interesting, etc etc. But right now people ask me, "so what are you going to do after graduating?" and I say, "well of course I'm going to California to pursue this path. Because I went there and it made me happy and seemed really cool." --
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For a while it wasn't old. That's honestly what I was feeling. OF COURSE that's what I'm going to do, a no-brainer! But yet while talking to my friend about it, I was still unsure. I thought, well, of course it's a different side of the US, I'm going to be unsure. But there's something else: I realized that these goals and things have always been about me me meeeee.. Now I'm not saying I'm a self-centered person, at least I never thought I was (o_o?), but I think I'm thinking that I would also be happy later in the grand scheme of things if I helped others with it. Whatever IT is, I dunno', lol, but it just sounds cheesy that way. For a brief moment I think that maybe art has to be my raft to hold onto what I really want to give. And wtf if I'm passionate about my raft I'm scared to know what it's going to be holding!
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Anyways, that's a tangent; focus right now, graduating! ;D

lol

Yay excuse to post! hahaha... so this is the "bare bones" of my previous post.. I actually like it better. Oh wellz
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So ... this may not be an arena where a lot of people are familiar with, but, I am. Kinda sorta. Well I was but then I was like... ok let's do this thing called school. Anyways, it's about gaming! Woo, yes I am totally into it, I'll admit it. Ok now that that's over, I just want to say that videogaming is weird sometimes. The culture is weird sometimes. At least the really hardcore ones. I know a bunch of "girl gamers"... and quite frankly, it's a little disturbing how some are making a big production of themselves. Are they really good at the game? Or is it the hype and attention? Just before this post I literally deleted like 5 or 6 of them off of my Myspace friends list because their bulletins were so obnoxious. I might be angry though because it's a situation like pennyarcade... they make fun of games n' all, very awesomely I might add, and now they are making ... a videogame!

Ok ok, I have noticed that since the inception of more girl gamers the guys have been showering. The last tournament I went to a couple weeks ago wasn't so smelly as ones I went to years ago. Eek I just admitted I go to tournaments! Lolz, anyways... and I'm wondering about concept art for videogames. I'm going to be working on concept art, design and storyboards for a movie soon, which has nothing to do with videogames, and that is still exciting to me. I'm very hyped up about the project. So, I guess what I mean to say with this tangent is that perhaps my brain is opening up to new avenues, not JUST videogames... but sigh who knows. :)

Woo... lol keep your school spirit pants on ;)

Meh.. just updating here. Some may have already seen this as I started coloring a week or two ago. I should finish though... and eventually put up the finished original for you all to see.
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About 2/21-2/23 I get the sweet opportunity to go see Yuko Shimizu, James Jean, Andrew Robinson and Eric Canete do their thing in Atlanta, GA at SCAD with the other students. Needless to say I can't wait and maybe while being there some of their awesomeness will rub off on me or I can collect their pencil shavings into a little jar... x_x;;

So I guess I have a few things to say ~

First off, yay drawings that don't involve people, haha.. they are somewhat randomly from photos with my own touches or whatever, don't ask. :x

<3

This past weekend I saw Rambo... that Stallone guy is a beast, basically. I actually feel manly after seeing that movie, and I'm a girl! Haha.. it was really cool. Sylvester Stallone holds a special place in my heart also because for some reason I always thought he looked like my dad, but I think now that might be because when they had long hair? Or something? Maybe it's the mouth, I dunno' hahaha.. (for those that don't know I'm half white, by the way).

Also, when I was in the bathroom the other day fixing my hair, I was thinking about WOW and *what if* one day their servers all went down... for like a month?! How many lives would that change? Would there be suicides? Anxiety attacks and emotional breakdowns from those that play it so hardcore? Haha, random.

Today in class we had to show progress on our projects and I had a bunch of character designs n' small thumbs of environments to show. The class was near silent, and it seemed everyone did their own thing while people were talking about their stuff. The teacher spent a long while going over some people's stuff, like the editorial illustrations, and real world issues, etc etc. Then when he came around to mine and Feng's stuff, who do concept art mostly, he had no input creatively to our progress. No interest in the stories, subjects, characters... only, "the anatomy, the composition etc.." which, granted, is very important, but on mine I had no illustrations, as right now that's not part of my initial stages. So needless to say I was done in 46 or so seconds.

- Ordinarily this might upset me really bad, what am I doing wrong, what can I do to please him, should I just do editorial illustrations instead of concept art because I know I won't get much feedback creatively? Oh noooooooes! Then a second later I think, what the hell have I been drawing and gaming and digital painting at home so much for? No one put a gun to my head and said to do it. So I trudge on, swatting at the insecurities of being in a now random environment (though it's my senior year yes), knowing that there are better schools out there for what I want to do, teaching first hand n' all, much better than what I am doing to teach myself... So! What keeps me going? That's another conversation for another day. ~

From Class

Ballpoint pen

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So my cat Kenji is the cuuuuuutest kitty ever (all cat owners say that though, right?). His meows are dainty and his eyes are 2 very dark yellow/black marbles on a snowy white and light beige face. His fur is the softest fur you will ever touch, and his paws make you want to throw up a little because they are just so disjustingly cute. Not to mention is retarded L-shaped tail which makes him very unique.

But sometimes I just want to toss him out of my 11th story window and call it a night. Like last night for example... why? What reason is there to run back and forth throughout the apartment like he has rabies? Or meow really loud in the middle of the night for attention and in turn making me feel like crap in the morning for lack of real sleep. Arrgghh but then he looks at me with his cute eyes and I'm done for, I'm such a sucker. :/

Shhhh

Oops here's a small leak to a hot new game coming out in the future!!!

Hehe, only kidding. Me and 2 others are making a small production videogame .. small as in we're in the throws of school and this is a side project that sounded like it might be fun. There are 3 characters... this is mine *teehee* 'cause I just wanted to update with a sketch and the other 2 guys on this project will have theirs soon. Very soon. *o*

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Oh yeah and I'm visiting CA again during Spring Break.

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Back to School

Back from California... back to school daze! It's my last semester though and I'm actually pumped. Before CA I wanted to stay in school lol, but after I predict I will be ready with this last semester to prepare. The trip was amazing to say the least! I learned a lot, got a lot of advice, relaxed, drew some, gained mucho confidence in my work, and saw the possibilities in what I was kind of wanting to do. I really want to do it now haha..
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Here are some misc drawings... so I don't feel so bad just posting words mostly. And the last thing at the end, something I wrote on the plane on my way back to VA. Just a bit of honesty ~ :)

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Out 1/7-1/13 - Going to LA

Going there to do some fun stuff.. Meanwhile, here's some sketches and things to hopefully tide everyone over. The first is still in progress, but just wanted to show what's up with it... kind of taking a different approach, I think? Maybe not haha

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The others are random sketches. When I didn't have people to draw I drew the things on my drafting table, starbucks, randoms.. ; ; Enjoy

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sketchezzz

a nice break from digital

*_* gotta get back into practice with these haha..

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Team Fortress rawwrrr

they are done, yes, enjoy

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comments/critiques appreciated

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edit: well, I *thought* I did well, considering the time, thought and fun I had with it, but apparently not. oh well life goes on right? just one project out of many in the future, can't win'em all. :) no more class for this semester !! The updates might be slow... or maybe I can catch up on some coffee shop drawings over the holidays. cheers ~

Medusa

Medusa from Inhumans ~ a commission

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the softer side I guess :P

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fairytale illustrations

fairytale influenced by soul caliber

first is 12x16 color, second is 8x8 black and white, enjoy

Progress

some stuff I'm working on... first is the spy being colored, almost done I guess, and the second pt1 illustration of my fairytale for Graphic Essay class. The pt2 is... er still in the works. -_-;; Enjoy ~

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This past weekend me and Feng (also from VCU who "claims" she forgot her blog address and so I can't show you her work muaha) went to Anime USA in DC *only* because we heard Jo Chen was going to be there. So we stalked her haha and showed her our portfolios n' stuff and chatted it up.. her sister Christina is AMAZING at art as well so that was also a treat.

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Me and Feng were such fangirls it was dumb... but Jo ended up liking us and we talked so much, and even ended up having dinner with her and Christina. They are the nicest people, so down to earth and chill. Me and Feng definitely hope to hang out with them again!

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so blue

sooo.... I'm taking a different approach to the final 3/4 views of the team fortress characters! Did these drawings last night real quick, they just seemed to flow out my pencil haha.. Going back to basics and seeing what I can do with painting these instead haha // sigh I know but I'm just continually experimenting. ^^ These are the first 3, medic, pyro (creature [weapon really] designed by http://tedikuma.blogspot.com/ who is in the group I'm in for this school project), spy - 3 more to come.

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p.s. purple is pretty <3

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the last 2... was fun, and I learned a lot, but overworked and they must rest in peace. ; ; Thank you everyone for your input in that, lol

?!

hm.. yeah i dunno'

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seemed cool at first, but not so much now, here's an update ~ this is an image where i just drew something and tried to make a mindless sketch into something more - there will be a diff' version later

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i'm just so full of myself

1 hour in painter - it's me again muahaha

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no really it's for international self portrait day at conceptart.org

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